| e g incunabula |
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| Pinus contorta
It has patience with my presence. The needles come in bundles of two. Every needle has a spiral twist. The species description contorta comes from the twisted growth of the shore pine, the torque of its needles. The etymology of pine. From Middle English pinen, from old English pnian, to cause to suffer, from pne, pain, from Vulgar Latin pna, penalty. So how do I translate the word for pine into the language of pine? Pine. Pine needles. When I say those words, I hear the long notes, a high i, a drawn ee, a sound like a small cry. I think of pining, to pine away. Loss. I sometimes think my entire life has been a fight against loss, trying to hold on to what is gone, knowing it was there, could still be there, but remains forever just out of reach. And then there are those moments when nothing is lost at all, when I’m not holding on but am surrounded, buoyed, the words and sounds and taste and touch are all there, and even to be alive at all is a miracle. |
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